"It wasn't over for me.
It still isn't over."

I changed my mind. I'm not ready for the new year. There are so many things left unsaid, and I need to have the reassurance that it's all over. I don't feel complete yet.

D.S. and S.Y.!?

They're cuties, for sure.
You're welcome, you two.
:]

Sooo, I should probably be doing something more productive, but I'm not. I'm on my laptop writing this blog for those who actually read it, which is probably no one, but whatevs. Christmas was lovely. Spending time with my mother with an all day House marathon on TV. Beautiful. Yesterday, I went thrifting for the first time in my life. (Thanks Lorisa and Hamed for getting us there!) It was superb. I'll probably go thrifting a lot more from now on. Today is Gwyne's cotillion! Partyparty! Haha, well, yeah. I don't think I'll have time to write about it tonight when I get home since I'll probably be extremely tired and Lorisa's spending the night. See you kids latero.

Damndamndamn, bboys are attractive.

Quickie:

Christmas is in two days! Daaamn..

I'll edit this later.

I'm back. And I'm here to talk about what's been going on lately. Emotions, thoughts, regrets, mistakes, accomplishments. All running through my head. I don't know what to feel, think, do, or say anymore. Rainy days bring me down. Not in the Christmas mood as much as the years before. I wonder what changed.. Maybe it's the thought of a new year just around the corner, and I've done nothing to prepare myself. I've done nothing to change. I tell myself I will, and here I am. Square one. I can't believe I'm about to..

I realize that I've been pretty missing from blogging. It's time to talk about what's been happening lately.

Soo, Tuesday night's concert was pretty good.. Until Advanced's last song. Gross on so many levels. Intermission. Changing wasn't complicated. I love Chamber. We killed in Ukrainian Alleluia. Good job, guys! Then, another quick change to musical clothes. I hate where I was placed, but whatever. Nothing could bring me down after chamber.

Wednesday night was good. I lalalove their warm-ups. It sounds like so much fun! The show started. I finally memorized Mix's solo. Thank gosh. I got a bruise on my head from when they attacked me with candy. Anyway, Bettina and I know the routine and had a mini audition. Hahhh.

Friday night was fun too. Chamber party, heeeeey! That was too much fun. I love my Wall-e and Eve toys. :] Late nights and midnight drives. Love it.

I don't know how else I can say this. I can't say it to your face, you'll find a way to twist my words. I know you never read my blogs ever since that one summer, but maybe you'll find this one day. What happened to us? We used to be inseparable. We hung out constantly. Pretty much to the point where my mom would always wonder how we were able to keep a conversation since we talked 24/7. I backed you up, and you backed me up. I was there for you during family issues, and you were there for mine. Now, we barely talk at all. I always try to somehow give you the benefit of the doubt. I tell myself you're just busy with school and all. I don't even know. It's sad to say that I've only known my best friends now for one or two years when we've been "best friends" ever since the seventh grade. I may sound overdramatic right now, but it's just how I'm feeling. I know, people change. I just wish we didn't.

It's 12:27 AM as I'm writing this blog out. I should be sleeping considering I have 2 choir performances tomorrow. I'm stressed out as hell. Thankfully, I'm done with mostly everything that's due this week. I just have to write my FHS essay. Hopefully, it won't take too much time. It's only getting harder to fake it. I'm done.

Today's just not that good of a day for anyone, huh?
I'm trying to stay optimistic, I promise.

- I finished my TIES.
- I should sleep.
- This isn't good.
- I'm craving some Strawberry Passion Tea.
- John Tucker Must Die makes me sad.

.. =/

Don't you just love the Christmas season? Cause I do.

HAHAHA! Shiiiit girl. Get a life and stop trying to go for him. He thinks you're ugly. Personally, I think you have an ugly personality. Being all fake and shit. Be mature. Oh, and stop mean mugging me, especially when you're around everyone I know. I'll just let everything go, but if you're around some of my friends, and they see you pulling all of this immature crap on me, get ready to be called out.

I hate being hoooome. Take me away!

It's almost break, and I reaaaally can't wait. Before that, I must get through the following:
- Advanced and Chamber concert.
- TIES.

Those are just the mains that I need to especially focus on. Thank God, one more week. I'd love to sleep in again. This break is gonna be like heaven to me. No stress, no work (for the most part). I'm excited.

I'd prefer Christmas to be a happy time of the year rather than the way it's going right now. We should be appreciating rather than hating. I'm not satisfied with myself. I really need 2009 to get here already. I'm so over 2008.

Things have been changing. I don't exactly know how to explain it.. I'm losing interest. Fast. I'm getting really scared. Why do I keep jumping? Nothing works out like that.

I need to get my priorities straight again.

Stuck in my head like an overplayed song. It's an addiction to think about. I don't know what to do, but we'll see what the stars have planned out for me. I trust the stars, even if it's silly.

Game, set, and match.

Ugh, I swear, I have no idea why I'm so awake. I can't sleep for some reason, and it's really bothering me. Everyone fell asleep on me about two hours ago. Oh well, it's karma for always falling asleep on them. Haha. Out of boredom, I decided to check out my phone bill, and it turns out that I've used 7758 texts starting from November 11 till now. It hasn't even been a whole month yet. Am I the only one that finds that number kinda scary?

My gums on the right side of my mouth is sore. I wish it was still numb so I wouldn't feel the pain. I suck with pain, but whatever.

....V-- Go to sleep, Mia. It's hella late.

I'm procrastinating from finalizing my research paper that is due tomorrow for APUSH. I don't know why I took this class. I'll be back once I've finished fixing the corrections my peer-editor made to my paper. Success again.

Today was alright. I get to thank Vitamin Water for giving me a killer stomach ache. Choir stresses me out. I figured out what classes I'm taking senior year. No AP classes. I learned my lesson this year. I'm tired, goodnight.

Note to self:
Drumline practice during rehearsal is very distracting.

Welcome to my procrastination blog. I'm currently lagging from finishing my chrestomathy for English, but before I continue to blog, I will finish my When and Where. See? I just finished it. Thank goodness this is actually working for me. Let's talk about my day today: I cleaned the house almost all day. Lazy during the first half, but productive during the second half. Dominic's house with the cousin to work on chrestomathy, which I didn't do. Kevin came over and I stroked/petted/patted his hair. I love guys' hair. I had to leave to pick up mother. Back home. "Left my binder at Dominic's house." So I had to "pick it up." Went to see drummer boy for a good hour. He's sucha cutie. :] I got home and started working on my chrestomathy. I only have my paper to write, so hopefully, I'll be done before one.

"I'm so happy, that was fun (:"
He makes my day.

Random Mia fact: I procrastinate waaaay too much.

Happy Sanksgiving!

Be thankful, world. Life has so many downs than ups, but we should be thankful to those who help us get along.

Let's just take it slow.

Things seem to be going a little too fast for me. It was only four days ago when I realized my feelings and now, you know about it. I mean, sure, I'm not complaining. You're really sweet to me and everything, but I'm scared. I don't want things to go too fast. What's the rush? We have all the time in the world, hunny.

You know what? You don't matter to me. You're trying to put this all on me, and you know that it's not entirely my fault. Sure, I know what happened is partly my fault, but all I was doing was defending my close friend because she's too nice to do it herself. You really hurt her, and I'm tired of seeing her sad over you because you honestly don't care about her. If you're going to be putting her through this all the time, I don't approve of it. I didn't say what I said to you because of our own differences. I said it to help her. You don't appreciate everything she's done for you, and all you're doing to her is weigh her down with stress and sadness that she doesn't deserve. If defending my friend means that people start to not like me because of you twisting my words and exaggerating the story, I honestly don't care because I know in my heart that what I did was right. If you ever end up reading this, I don't want you to talk to me anymore. I don't want you to be two-faced to me. You're probably running your mouth about me to other people, and I'm not about to start worrying about that. I have better things to do than stress over this unnecessary drama you're bringing. I just don't understand why you're making this such a big deal. You could've just talked to me about it rather than start talking bullshit. Stop talking to me like you actually care about me. The only time I'll ever talk to you again is if we have to talk about choir. Other than that, I don't want you in my life anymore if you're going to be like this. So goodbye.

Thanks to everyone who tried to calm me down, even if it barely worked. Special thanks to Lorisa for going with me all the way to Milpitas and making me forget everything that went on. You made my day. Thanks to all the people who said this to me:

"Mia, everyone loves YOU, not her. Look at how many friends she has lost over things like this. Eventually, they'll see her true nature."

"Aw, Mia. Don't worry about it. We all love you."

"What the hell is going on!? Do I need to come over there and whoop some ass?"

"If I see her outside of this room, someone better hold me back."

"... your the bestest friend anyone could ever have."

Just as long as I know my true and closest friends know what exactly happened, then I'm fine. I don't need all of the friends in the world. I already have the best.

Junior year officially SUCKS ASS.

I swear, I never believed anyone when they said junior year was the hardest. I now understand them completely. Time's going by so quickly. I mean, it's already November 20th, well, technically the 21st. The work load is horrible. I can't even keep up with it. My grades are slipping. Procrastination kills, kids. Don't be like me. I'm constantly tired. I never get to have a good night's sleep. Thank goodness that Thanksgiving break is right around the corner. Anyway, NM's down, so I can't post up little thoughts. Siiiigh.

Haha, I realize that I never have time to do my homework anymore. I need to start prioritizing. School > Social life. I got home like, a few minutes ago. I'd never usually do this on a school night. Something's in the aiiiiir! Who knows, but tonight was a fun night. Kaitlyn, Anthony, and Mix are cool to chill with. Sister lets me borrow a lot of her clothes. Mix and I have good talks in the car on late nights. I just realized that. Anyway, my plan for tomorrow so far is to go to Newark after school. Hahhh, hopefully people are still there. Well, I should start getting ready for tomorrow since I just got home. Goodnight world. :)

Aww, today's a really good day. At least after school it was. My doggy's actually listening to me and she's learning a lot of new tricks. I love my doggy sooo much. :)

P.S. Hi Kevin! Haha :P

I'm completely torn in between friendships.

I honestly don't know what to do. Both sides of my friends want to chill with me. I've ditched one for another too many times. This is why I don't like getting too close to people. I always have to pick one or the other. If I choose one side, people get mad. If I choose the other, people get mad. It's a lose-lose situation for me. What am I expected to do? I don't even know who to turn to anymore. I'm about to go to sleep soon. I don't want to deal with this anymore. I just wish I wasn't alone on this.

"But little did I know that [he] was playin with my mind.

The only thing I learned is, good [boys] are hard to find."

Even if I believe that hip hop is dead, there are still certain songs that just get to me sometimes. Lately, there have been a lot of songs that relate to me. Haha, not much of the situation though, but just in general. Kinda like the main idea of the song, ya know? It's whatever. I'm just trying to focus and be more independent. It seems to be working out for the most part. Yaaay.

I really do think I'm stupid. I can't believe I locked my keys in my car today. Thank goodness for kind-hearted people. Anyway, I feel as if today was really dramatic. I don't know how to explain, but it seems like it. The whole time, there was some drama going on. Sorry I wasn't able to talk to you while you were in a lot of pain. I feel that I was no help at all. I'm sorry. I owe you big time. I'll make it up to you.

As I was eating lunch with Keli, Hamed, and Nikki at Panda Express, I cracked open my fortune cookie. The little slip of paper explained so much to me. This is what it said: "People who expect nothing will never be disappointed." Maybe this is a sign to not get my hopes up for anything. Just live life and let things happen. We'll see. I just want to make progress instead of always taking one step forward and two steps back. Just have to keep going..

What is this feeling I'm getting? I don't know how to explain it, and I'm getting scared. I don't like being in the dark.

The people who know you the best,

hurt you the most.

It has come to my realization that 2008 is almost over. There has been a lot of changes in this past year, but for some reason, I'm still not learning. I'm still in square one, like I've been for the past ten months. The only difference is the impacts of the pain. I've been slowly breaking down this year instead of getting stronger. You would think that I would have learned my lesson. Apparently not. Still stuck in the same space. Maybe I moved back a few steps. Who knows. All my 2008 goals were not achieved. None. And that's what disappoints me the most. Mia, you failed.

I just feel like going to sleep to be able to ignore reality, or maybe reading a good book that'll make me envious of the main character's life to the point where I wanna throw the book across the room. Either way, I need my escape.

I'm still a mess :/

I really am a fucking mess these days. I don't know how people tolerate it. I'm starting to lash out at people I don't mean to. Choir's shitty. No one can hear me. Concert choir's singing in Latin. Am I the only one going insane over this? I mean, I was extremely pissed off after school, but I didn't really see anyone else as mad. We can't even do anything right. It's already fucking November if you haven't noticed. School's going by too quickly. Actually, life is going by too fast. I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

I need to work on this procrastinating thing. It is 5:30 AM, and I just finished my research paper. It's five pages long and it took me three hours and thirty minutes to write. Not that bad, right? Considering I had to start writing at 2:00AM cause I fell asleep even after Keli woke me up at 10:30 last night. Pathetic, Mia, pathetic. I swear though, I'm such a fucking mess these days. :

My newest goal.

Halloween

It was pretty cool this year. Sorta. After school, I went to the choir room and got scared of a gay clown. He's an asshole for scaring me on purpose when he knew I was hella scared of clowns. Anyway, visited Brenden, Lovin, and Corey at Bren's house for a little bit. Mix and I left and went to Great America. We met up with Hamed, Keli, and new group member, Jeannel! :) Thanks for paying for me. I owe you $25. Holy crap, it's actually really scary at Great America. The rides are faster. Yaaay :) Anyway, we heard about certain people, but it's whatever, right? Right. So, we had to go through the clown area. I really don't like clowns, and one of them came straight at me! Hamed yelled saying, "Nigga, touch her! Fucking touch her!" He protected me. Good thing the scarier one didn't approach me.. With his mouth all open and everything.. *Shivers* Anyway, the day started turning bad.. Took Mix home, my home, took care of the doggies, slept around 12-ish.

I don't understand.

Why would you totally go off on someone like that? You don't know me. So why are you gonna judge me by my articles? Sure, I review places people always go to, but how about you at least know my life and my situations before you tell me that I'm boring and that I have no life. That's just not right. If you knew me, I'd really not care. People have their own opinions, and that's perfectly fine with me. The thing is, you don't know me, and that's what annoys me. Girl, grow up.

I don't know what to say except that I am going to become more independent now. I like the feeling of getting things done on my own. I don't have to rely on anyone but myself. No need to find anyone for me now. I'm happy now as I am. Who knows, maybe I'll find a boy willing to put effort in order to win my heart.

Yeah, I like that plan.

I really hate APUSH, but tonight made me realize how easy it actually CAN be if you do the work. Yes, I know, it's 4:32AM right now, but what can I do about it? Nothing. It was my own fault for procrastinating, not paying attention in class, and not doing the reading at home. I'm gonna really start focusing, I promise.

I fell asleep at around 10, and then I woke up at 2. I'm so tired and I have no energy. I'll probably get killed during fourth period tomorrow. No lie. Siiigh, I hope they understand..

Fast and short.

English is fine. 100% on benchmark, woot woot. First period is annoying me. Second period = hella stress, disappointment, and fear. Third is okay, I guess. I just needa raise my grade BADLY. I love journalism. Lunch is always the same; different every day. Sixth is still fantastically fun. Seventh.. What the hell is up with the new seating!? I don't like. Not at all. I like how Josh still sits behind me though. Btw, I owe him a rubber band.

Goodnight. I'm sleepy.

No need.

The purpose of this entry is for me to be able to finally be able to let everything out. I'm not holding back anymore. Only my really good friends know about this blog site, and I trust them with my life. Besides, they have all heard me rant about this way too many times. ;)

First off, I can't believe you hate me. I mean, really? You're gonna bring it back all the way to middle school when someone would start hating on another just because of some stupid reason. Come on now, we were best friends, and now, you're just going to throw it all away because we broke up? That's stupid. I'd love for you to be my friend again. I really do miss you, but obviously, I can't do anything about it right now. When you're mature enough to get through whatever's going on, call me.

Honestly, there's still a little part of me that still can't get over you. No matter what I try to do, and no matter what I tell myself, you have this hold on me. We don't even talk anymore, but you somehow manage to still have a little piece of my heart. (Corny and lamesauce, I know.) Everyone tells me the same thing, "You're too good for him," but every time, I just wish that things could have worked out differently than it did. I don't necessarily mean for us to be together, but at least good friends, you know? I don't know. You were so sweet and considerate. I'm having a hard time letting go, and in all honesty, I'm scared to move on.

When I have this chance to move on, I'm scared to take it. I don't know whether things are going to work out or crash and burn. I know, I shouldn't think about the future, but I can't help it. It's just how my thought process is. I just have a feeling that he likes another girl. I see it, but no one else does. I'm usually right about this gut feeling.. It's not like I know how to approach you anyway. I guess I'll just go with the flow and see where it goes from there. I only want good vibes, please. Oh, and I'll back out at the first sign of awkward feelings.

I've gotten accustomed to things not working out. There's always that doubt in the back of my mind. Whether it comes to school, boys, or my family, I never feel as though I'm making the right choice. Again, I need to focus on the present, not the part or future. I don't want to miss out on life.


.. I think this is good enough for now..

And in the end,

We all just want somebody to love us.

Crickets.

Friday was fun day. Like really.
I'm too lazy to explain everything though. It's really long. The rally was lamesauce. The cool thing was that happened was that juniors won both games. Yeeeeeaaaaaah! :) Seeing you with her wasn't cute. Oh well, be happy. New park mall after with Mix, Andrew, and Keli. Loves them. Gerry's grill. The waiter kept going to us.. I don't know why. He reminded me of Tony Tran. Teehee! :) Picked up Mix and went to Andrew's house for a little. Home home home.

Kim, Keli, and Mix were here a while ago. I love them. We watched Saw IV together, and we're gonna watch Saw V on Friday! :) I'm excited.




I wanna ask you why.

Insanity.

I'm so tired.

Fire drill 3rd period = best period to have the drill.
Lorisa writes really good stories.
Thanks for the food, Michelle!
Getting Stronger was our best song.
Too much work for FHS.
No time to work on projects in Tagalog.
That text message was unnecessary. I never did shit to you.
New Park Mall.
Hot dog on a stick.
Anywhere and everywhere.

You make me so frustrated with myself. I don't know what to do or say. I can't do anything because I know it'll go nowhere. Walk away while you still can.

Waking up early tomorrow to do homework.
Goodnight.

Bread.

HAHAHA! Only some of you will understand that.
Good rehearsal today = happy me.
I have an outline to do.
I didn't go to zero period.
I LIKE YOU TOO MUCH TO MY LIKING.
Don't talk to me?
You're cute.
I'm not gonna see you.
Why aren't you talking to me?

I have no school spirit.

Sooner or Later.

Why am I starting to like you so much.
Bad bad bad bad.
I don't get it!
Oh, and I'm excited for Gwyne's birthday.
Tomorrow will be interesting.
I have rehearsal tomorrow.

Reminders:
- Petco
- Clean up
- POWER CORD
- Go to school early tomorrow
- Start on TIES
- Notes and outline for APUSH


My assumption:
(Assuming is bad, I know.)
She likes you, and you like her, but I like you.
"It'll all come crashing down."

JF;LSDKJF!

But in a good way.

Spring Awakening/SF with Andrew, Gwyne, and Sherry. Pictures are in the link to the right under "multiply." Sooo much fun. Father-daughter talks are always nice. I love my dad. Oh, Gwyne's plan is fantastic :)

I just wish you'd feel the same way too.

Torn?

I can't explain to anyone, even myself. Ugh.
I wish it would turn out differently than the direction it's heading now.

.. It's frustrating.

The Way I See It #267

Music can lift us out of depression or move us to tears – it is a remedy, a tonic, orange juice for the ear. But for many of my neurological patients, music is even more – it can provide access, even when no medication can, to movement, to speech, to life. For them, music is not a luxury, but a necessity.

Not again.

Personally, when I look back at my past, I'm not exactly happy about it. I realize the mistakes I decided to take, and the resistance that was present. Even as I look into my past, I noticed one thing: I always thought about the future. I was cautious about my choices and how it would affect me in the long run. But that's the thing, a person cannot look at their past or their future. We need to live for only right now. If we were to always think back and forward, human kind would miss out on such great opportunities that we have right in front of us. We are blinded by over-thinking every move we make and always focusing on trying to avoid what happened in the past.

Notes.

Schedule for October:

09: Chamber rehearsal.
11: FSSJ rehearsal.
12: Spring Awakening!
14: Advanced rehearsal.
18: PSAT. Paddy Palooza? Homecoming? Mighty 4?
25: Six Flags?

Um.

Have you ever had one of those "I really feel like blogging, but I just don't know what to talk about" kind of moments? I'm having one right now.

I can't believe I forgot my APUSH binder at home today. Luckily, Cozine didn't say anything to me about it today, so I'm not in trouble. The funny thing is, I have a higher grade than Michelle in that class and she turned in more things that I did. Anyway, I need to stop lagging on APUSH. The end.

Choir's fun. I love the new song we're learning. Wonderful Peace, I think, but we're singing it in Swedish. It sounds really pretty and I'm excited. Oh, and I went to the tenor sectional today and it was fun. Dad looked really pissed in the beginning though.. Scary.

Thanks for bringing me home, Keli! :)



.. Waiting.(?)

KA-BANG.

Dead.
Really though, suuper tired for the past two days. Stress kills.

Lately, my life's been having some ups and downs. Thanks to all of those who are always there for me. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. All these deep talks out of nowhere get me thinking, but in a good way. I'm not thinking about the future as much anymore. I'm learning to only focus on the present. No thinking ahead or anything, just the "now."

It's amazing. I didn't think that I could ever talk to you about those kind of things, and now, you talk to me about your problems and your life goals. Plus, I found out from you that you consider me as one of your really good friends that help you remain sane. I just loved that feeling. You have no idea how good I felt after. You're welcome, and thank you for opening up to me as well.

Tonight's performance went pretty well. Sadly, the DJ that was in charge of our music left and took our music with him, so we were delayed. The crowd loved us! Haha, kept cheering and all. Feeels good :)

I'm tired. Goodnight.

I don't know, let's sing.

Something went wrong in every single one of my classes AND after school choir rehearsal. Lame. Sauce.

Jennifer Chung's music makes me happy. I don't know why, but if you're feeling down, maybe you should go listen, especially the song with the title of this blog. I can't help but sing along with her. And it's really catchy and cuteskii. :)



Shy, scared, nervous, anxious, happy, thrilled, excited.

4:10 AM

Siiiiiiiiigh. For the first time ever, I got something of mine taken away. Goodbye phone and goodbye car. Hello walking to and from school. Hopefully, I could catch a ride with my cousin, if he's willing to pick me up, that is.

World of Dance is waaay too long to explain. Ask me about it if you really wanna know, but we ended up leaving around 11:30. Denny's at Pleasanton is not the best place to eat. The service was extremely slow. We probably got done eating around 1. Yes, that's how long the service was. Ask me about the parking lot story afterward. I'm too tired to write it all.

We didn't place. Haaaallllaaa sadface.

Ready.

I'M SO PUMPED. Why? World of Dance is finally here! After all those practices and added in rehearsals, it's gonna pay off. So many people are telling me that they're going. It's kinda scaring me, but whatever. I'm starting to halla love practices. Just being with everyone, man.. It's almost like my choir family except it's dancing. Haha :)

Everyone's writing all those deep blogs and I feel kinda left out, but I promise that I'll put one up sooner or later. Probably won't be tomorrow since I'm gonna be busy all day. Wooo.

On the other hand, school was.. Interesting, I guess.
0: Eating all period is fun.
1: I didn't finish number 4. Sadface.
2: I swear, I'm gonna start killin' people in choir soon.
3: Cozine's actually halla funny.
4: Got the whole story thing straightened out. Yay.
6: I didn't get put in a group. Sadface 2x.
7: ... Just halla sadface throughout this whole period.

After school, Mix and I went to Yoswirl, and this girl was halla mean muggin' me for no reason. I would've said something, but I don't like unnecessary drama. New Park Mall afterward. Interesting. Halllaaa sadface 87654132187x tho. Oh well, one step at a time, right?

Dropped Mix off. Speedin' down the freeway and ended up getting stuck in traffic around the Brokaw area. Stupid San Jose. Not really.

I'm getting sleepy. Goodnight.

Crap.

There are so many things running through my mind right now. I don't even know where to start. I guess I'll start with school..

The main issue I have at school is my AP U.S. History class. Right now, I have to read chapter 19 by tomorrow and there's about 20+ pages in a chapter. Fun right? Not really, considering I failed the past two tests. I'm definitely getting a cinch in that class. I don't want my mom to see that though. It'll disappoint her. FUCK, I have an article to write tonight.

Choir's doing okay, I guess. I keep getting used as an example.. It's really scaring me now. I don't know what to do. It's just hard to explain. Chamber started today! Happyface.

I'm scared. (I'd rather not elaborate on this topic, but if you wanna know, and you know that I would tell you, just ask.)

FSSJ, we're competing in TWO days. Hoooly craaap. Last practice is tomorrow night, 7PM - 9PM. I'm nervous.. So many people I know are telling me that they're going. I'm shy..

I wish we were like how we were before all of this. You're drifting from me and I don't know what to do to stop it, if that's even possible. I hope you're doing fantastic, and I just want you to know that I pray for you every night. I love you.

Official.

Oh hot damn. I'm gonna actually miss these kind of rehearsals.

Recap of yesterday: Woke up pretty early for the weekend, I mean, 7:30? Yeaaah, early. Got ready for rehearsal. Drooove to Campbell. Practice from 11-3. Somewhere in the middle, I kept getting calls from everyone. Apparently, there was an SF trip planned. Daaarn, I would've gone, but rehearsal comes first. Decided to pass by SJB festival. Met up with Corey, Lovin, Brenden, and Aj. Kindof. He hates me now. Whatever. Jomar showed up and it was cool talking/chilling with him again. Lovin and Jomar tried to find me a boy for some reason. Yeaah, kinda failed, just a little. Or a lot. Left to go to Santana Row for dinner at Maggiano's. Second time there. I remember everything. I fell asleep on the way home. Mother drove, btw. Played with the doggy for about an hour or two. Sleeeep.

TODAY: Got a phone call from Kim at 5AM. She wanted to visit? Yeah, I told her I'd call her when I actually woke up, which was around 7 again. Decided it'd be fun to wake up everyone. I only succeeded to wake up Keli and Dad. Darn. Kim never showed up. I was too late to go to church with Felme. Whooops? Went to Brenden's house. Just chilled with him and Corey. It took Bren three or four hours to write a two-paged essay. Cute. SJB festival again. MAN, I finally saw Faith, Matt, and Glenci for the first time in ages. I miss them. Turns out Kyle was there? Haha, whoaaa didn't really expect to see him there. Left at 4:45. Camille texts me and says she just got there. Laaame. Rehearsal 5-9. DONE STAGING. World of Dance, here we come.

Did I mention that I finally have my own car? Ooooh baby!

Yuuuck.

I'm pretty tired, but I wanna write even if I wrote in my journal already. Oh well, here's my day. Have fun reading it.

0: Graded essay and read.
1: I swear, I hella hate this class. I'm surrounded by freshmen and sophomores. Ohhh dear.
2: Choir's always fun. I like how we watch Logan Live now. Keli and I did our dance the whole time. I miss dad. New song. Shane-o asked me if I wanted to consider being a first soprano. SIIIIIIKE. I pretty much had a panic attack.
Break: Freshmen need to learn how to walk.
3: APUSH, you're killing me. I was forced to pay attention today cause I sat at a desk. I actually learned something. I have two chapters to learn in less than a week. Isn't that fun?
4: Journalism! Counted with Alyssa. I love writing. The end.
5: Another interview. Hamed and I stayed in for a little to talk to Jamie about Chamber. I'm excited. Met up with everyone in the 200's. Singing Twa Tanbou and Skating from memory. Yeeesss. Keli says I stayed in key for the most part while I was singing.
6: I swear, our government is hella bad. I'm so happy I decided to take this class.
7: Hectic as always. Kind of had a little explosion during class with Alyssa. We have plans made. It'll be fun.

After school, I called Jay to wait for me. He said he would. I had to go to the choir room to pick up my cup that I forgot. Attempted to put my binder in my locker, but I'm so smart that I forgot my combination. Jay ended up ditching me. Tapioca Express. Happy birthday/wedding! Kevin and Jay kicked me out of their cars. Jay ended up bringing me.

Practice choreo with Mix. I learned and got it down in my memory. It was extremely funny. I'm pretty sure we lost a bunch of calories from just laughing at our stupidity. Btw, Mix and I have our own dance. Catch us together at school and you'll probably see it. If not, just ask. We'll do our dance for you.

I can't wait till I get my car.

Teehee.

Simple, Starving to be Safe. I extremely love that song. Serenade me. :)



He's cute.

Busy!

Schedule for September:

13: FSSJ practice 11AM-3PM
14:FSSJ practice 5PM-9PM
15: Soprano "Sectional" 3;30PM-4:30PM
18: Chamber Auditions 3:30PM
20: FSSJ practice 11AM-3PM
21: FSSJ practice 5PM-9PM
27: WORLD OF DANCE COMPETITION 3PM-11PM

I'm so excited, but at the same time, I'm scared that my education is going to suffer. Looking at my schedule, my weekends are extremely busy. Hopefully, I'll be able to prioritize correctly.

REMINDER: Buy all white shoes.

Dictionary.

re·lapse
- verb (used without object)

1.	to fall or slip back into a former state, practice, etc.: to relapse into silence.

Addiction.

Yo-swirl is delicious. Thanks for taking me, Kevin! Saw Kaitlyn there with Paulo. Ate the usual. I need three more stubs to get my free one. Cute boy was working. Oooh la la. Played Jenga and finally won at it. Arrived home to see my mother home before me. Beaaaan! :) Quick Daiso, Ocean, and Target run. Finally didn't get in trouble for getting home "too late." Homework and other stuff.


Figurative uses are hard.

Had To.

Future.

Maybe one day, you'll look back at this point of time and regret the decision you decided to take. And there I'll be, hands cupped with the evidence of unbroken glass, staring at you with my own eyes finally dry. This time it's different. This time, I'll follow in your footsteps and simply.. Walk away.

Paused.

I miss my journal. I'm going to write in it every night.

Trained?

"I wanna go to the mall."
"Why?"
"Cause I CAN."
(HAHA! Plus, I need to go shopping.. Badly.)

Today was cool. It felt good to wake up at 8. Mm, yay for sleeping early! No school tomorrow. Aw shit, I'm supposed to have read Scarlett Letter. I better get switched out of that class by Tuesday or else I'm screwed. Uh, Bean got her first bath today! She was pretty good. Also, we left for church around 12:20, and when we got home around 3:15, she didn't pee or go poop in the house. I'm happy. She's potty training herself? Kinda, not really.

I need to go shopping.

Firsts.

(I don't wish at this time, but I have wished for you before.)

Damn, performing is so fun. I mean, I've performed before, but that was for choir. Performing a routine for fssj is something totally different. I love it. Making new friends is fun too :)

So, to make things short, I earned my mom's trust back. I asked her if I could take out the car for a quick run to Petco to buy a few things for Bean. I called her when I got there and when I left. I think she likes it better that way. I'll do that from now on.

Hell Begins.

Today was the first day of school, and I'm pretty disappointed, yet okay at the same time. I got my schedule. There's something wrong with almost all of my classes. I'm in second period honors English when I'm supposed to be in choir. I have no science, which means I have no zero period. Having no zero period = no ride to school. I don't even know what I'm gonna do. I bet I'm just gonna have to go to school early. Laaame. Swear tho, I hate Logan.

P.S. Bean has her first check up today!

Welcome to the Family

AHHHH! :) So today at around 3:45, I picked up Kaitlyn and we went to the PuppyLove Adoption place. We saw the most gorgeous Pomeranian puppy there. I fell so in love with her that I ended up buying her at the end of the day. Here's a picture so you could fall in love with Vanilla Bean too!

Her eyes are just beautiful. :)

Too Loud.

I swear, my mom better not have another high school reunion at our house. I think I might just shoot myself. I have a hectic schedule tomorrow that starts bright and early. They know that and they still decide to scream, yell, and drink. Siiigh, if I wake anyone up tomorrow with my 8AM alarm, they better not complain. Whaatevah.

Quickie!

So, I'm supposed to be cleaning right now, but I'm taking a break to update anyone who reads this. Sit back, relax, and enjoy reading! :)

The beginning of this week went by kinda suck-ish-ly. It got better and better tho. Link crew was on Wednesday. I swear, it kinda made me not wanna have kids. HAHA! That night, I had a really good talk with Pimentel. It started out with us being sad, pissed off, angry, and frustrated, but in the end, we were all happy and excited. Warning: Be careful and keep your eyes open for us next year. Mwahaha!

Yesterday was chill for the most part. Jay, Kevin, and Jericho came over to work on the backyard for moolah around 2:40. They did pretty good. We hung out in the house doing whatever. It was funny tho, especially when we went to clean up the plums and stuff. HAHA! Daaamn, I hope we don't get caught for that. =X Anyway, we ate Taco Bell with delicious Frutista Freezes. I didn't know those were so good! Then, we went to my room to wait for the ABDC finale. The Sonics commercial came on. We planned to have a roadtrip on Tuesday. Yeaaah huh! Jay and Jericho had to go, so Kevin dropped them off and came back to watch the finale with me. SUPERCR3W won, suckaas. They hella deserved it. Happy happy happy. Kevin left. Went online. Had a phone talk with MHM. Good talk tho. Forreal. Mix, don't forget to let Hamed listen to the recording! HAHAHAA! ... Med. HAHAHA! Sorry. Inside joke.

Time for me to get cleaning again.
I'M HAVING FUN CLEANING MY ROOM EVEN MORE. Seriously tho.

Junior year theme.

Since everything that happened this summer ended with a bust, I decided to have a main theme this year. My theme? FOCUS. Focus on school, choir, and fssj. That's it. Nothing else.

Kay. G'night.

Long blogs.

You're just like the other guys.

Anyway, my weekend was fun! Rehearsal was good, but my legs are really sore. Learned two new routines. It was extended till 1:30PM, but it's all good. It was worth it. Got dropped off at Great America afterwards to chill with Kevin and Jay. I hella only rode on one ride the whole day, and it was that Delta Flyer thing, which carries you across the park. HAHAHA! Saw Eric randomly. Ate KFC and then went back into the park to watch Endless Summer! The ending was best, like forreal. Remind me to go take you to watch it with me if we ever go to Great America together! :) Went to the cousin's house. We watched Step Up 2. Jay and I went to go drop Kevin off at his house. Went to sleep.

Today was pretty cool too. Eric and Kaitlyn showed up at Jay's house and we ate out for lunch at this Pho place. Yuum! Then, we went to Helene's house. She has sucha cute doggy! All excited and everything. We said bye and we went to Union Landing. Talked for a bit, Eric applied for jobs. I had to go home to go to church so they dropped me off. There was a cute boy sitting in front of me. He kept turning around.. Awkward.. Anyway, went out to eat at this Japanese place. Then, I took the car, picked up Jay and Jericho and we watched Tropic Thunder. Holy crap, most random shit ever. Ate In-N-Out, picked up food at BK for Jay's family. Dropped them off. Went home. I got home twenty minutes before curfew. Fun!

This is long again.
Peaaaaaace.

Freakshow.

I MISS YOU! Can we talk again soon? :(

I have rehearsal tomorrow from 10AM - 1PM, as usual. Then, I'm gonna get dropped off at Great America to spend the day at my aunt's company picnic. Yuuum, free food! This would be my third weekend in a row going to Great America. (That sentence has really bad grammar, but I'm too lazy to go back to fix it.) Anyway, I wonder if I'll see a certain boy there. We'll see.

Anyway, my dreams have been really crazy lately. It's so insane to me! I can't get over the fact that he was in three out of four of my dreams this week. I don't even remember the first two, but last night's dream was just intense. I woke up doing what I was doing last in my dream. WEIRD.

Having my license is really bad. HAHA! I picked up Mix at around 11 and dropped by Jay's house to surprise him. We made a useless run to Tapioca Express, and I had to drop Jay back home. Mix and I went to my house, and Hamed calls and tells me to go with him to Seafood City. We stayed there for a little bit, and I drove all of us to my house. Hung out for a while, then I dropped Hamed off at BART and went home. Damn, I broke the law so many times today. That's hella bad. Don't be like me!

To all the people going to Rock the Bells tomorrow, I am really, really, jealous. I wanted to go soo badly. Siigh, I regret not buying tickets, but hey, I'm already busy, so it's not like I could've gone anyway. Hopefully, I'll be able to go next year. Yay for positive mentality with a side of faith!

This blog is too long for my liking. Kbye!

Accomplishment.

So, NM's not closing after all. Good thing my thoughts didn't get too personal, although, it was heading in that direction. Siiigh, just in the nick of time too.

Guess who's LICENSED! :) Just got it today and I'm already breaking the law left and right. HAHA! Oh well, it was worth it. I'm happy that I spent my first adventure with MHM and Andrew (?), but not really since we just parked in front of his house and stayed in the car. I'm gonna miss you DadGrandpa! Have fun camping and everything! :)

Okay, one more thing before I go.. That boy is too cute for his own good. Get transferred to Logan next year! ;)

100!

This would be my 100th post on this site. Oh, how I love to blog.

Anyway, the main reason why I'm blogging right now is because I just remembered that I have some very interesting news to tell the world. Well, just the people who actually read my blogs, but that's not even a lot of people. They're people who actually matter to me, so if you're reading this, I LOVE YOU! :) Haha, I'm weird. I'm getting off topic now. Anyway, the latest "gossip" is that incoming juniors and seniors from Newark Memorial, American, and Washington are being transferred to Logan due to the overcrowding at their school. I find it kind of ridiculous considering Logan's way too crowded as it is now. I'm also hearing that the minimum class size is thirty-five per room. Wow, there's gonna be a lot of body heat. On the brighter note, there's a possibility that there will be cute boys going to Logan for once! HAHAHA! Dang, next year better be fun.

Wow, I'm actually getting excited for school now. P.S. Peppermint and I have a D.T.I. dress code for the first week of school. Oooh heeey! ;)

A little warning to people getting transferred: You're gonna hate Logan.

Damn.

NM is closing. I can't believe it. I got so attached to it.

You IMed me last night. You seriously need to stop surprising me.

Contemplating.

Don't think; just do.

1:20AM:
Sooo anyway, I didn't think and did. No response, and for some reason, I'm completely fine, no, fantastic about it. I'm kinda proud of myself actually.



I think I just discovered my own self-worth.

Curiosity.

Is it weird that I don't like writing long blogs, but I love reading others'?
Are you going to be any different?
Did you ever lie to me to look cool?
Do you honestly believe that I'm gonna let you off the hook just like that?
Am I ever going to go back to school shopping?
Who are you?
Why did you exaggerate things?
I wonder when it's gonna happen..
Why do I always spend my weekends in San Jose?
Did Logan mess up my schedule this year again?
Why'd you randomly text me?

Is it weird that the main reason why I can't fall asleep is because I keep asking myself a bunch of questions like this?

You Got Me.

This pretty much sums it up for me.

Mix made me wanna write one:

Gooodbye Summer '08, it's been.. unexpected.
Let's try going through this year correctly.

- Get my act together.
- STOP procrastinating and cutting.
- Actually study.
- Try getting a 4.0 (Like freshman year)
- Stay dedicated to choir and FSSJ.
- No distractions.
- Stay in shape since P.E. is gone.
- Don't waste time.

Mm, I guess that's all for now. I think I wanna go to Logan to change my schedule. The fact that I'm taking physics for absolutely no reason kind of scares me. Maybe I'll just take ecology or something.. APUSH.. I'm scared of that too.

Hell no, you're not about to do that shit.
Nope, not while I'm around.
Watch your back, asshole.

Just a silly girl with her head in the clouds.

FKJ;KFDJ;F!

I'm hungry and there's barely food in the house.
LOVELY.

First Concert.

Hellllaaa good. Colbie Caillat and John Mayer. Ooooh weee!
I had fun :)

Whatta hassle.

I wish I could have 20/20 vision.
Or at least have the same prescription on each eye.


I don't think I'm going to Santa Cruz tomorrow with FSSJ. =/

Ohh man!

If you haven't watched The Dark Knight yet, I suggest you get your butt over to the closest movie theaters and go watch it.

Something Special

Boy, you and me!
Together, we'll take over the world <3

I just had to.

Man up!

Boy, can we chill?

Here's my schedule for July so far!
July 13: Happy birthday to 6 people! Dirklao's party.
July 16: Jay's birthday!
July 18: Brenden's birthday!
July 19: FSSJ Rehearsal
July 23: Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk w/ FSSJ

Somewhere in between will be when I get my license. HAHA! I really regret not getting my permit right when I was 15 1/2. Fuck laziness.

(None)

I didn't think it'd take this long.

Oooh dang.

I'm excited! July is a fun month cause everyone's birthday is in July. I pretty much have something to look forward to. :) Tomorrow's Felme's birthday at In-n-Out. Then, Sunday is Dirklao's birthday party at Cataldi. After, on the 18th is Brenden's birthday party at some hotel in Santa Clara. I'm excited? Yeaaah, pretty much.

I'll talk about Great America on Saturday. I went with Mix and Hamed at around 5:30. Ended up seeing Keli, Jessica, Kim, and Chase there. Said hellooo. Then we all went to the amphitheater to watch Passion! :) He performed a new song! He did sucha good job. Oh man, all of us were hella screaming. I love being at PGA with Mix and Hamed. We laugh at everything together. No lies. We went on DropZone and the Kaba Modern folks were in front of us. Apparently, one of them hit on me by saying he liked my shirt. Keli, Kim, and Chase were like, "MIA! He said he likes your shirt!" MY BAD. I hella didn't hear him. Damn. -_- But yeah, Mix and I were dancing like the whole time. It was fun. Anyway, we all hung out until like midnight and we had to drop them all off. Hella good day with MHM. :)

That dream last night... Interesting. That's all I have to say on that topic.

Everyone's getting short hair now. SHOOT ME NOW.

MHM!

(Mia, Hamed, Mix)
Helllllaaa love these fools like extremely. I love how they randomly call me up around 3PM to say that they wanna go to Great America. HAHA! Sooo, we get there around 6? Yeahhh. I swear, going to Great America with them has been the most stupid and fun experience so far. LOVE YOU GUYS. :)

Fssj is doing greaaaaat! Haha, it's really fun. Seriously tho. New routine to Forever makes me feel so pumped. Hahah, yeah, I'm kinda weird.

Alright, I think I'm done. Haha, I should get some sleep now anyway.

Okay, seriously now.

What are you trying to do?

Off guard.

Last week, I discovered a way to figure out who gets eliminated off of America's Best Dance Crew without watching the episode at all. I remember feeling accomplished and I decided that it was time I blogged about it. I also know how to vote and watch the crews while the show is playing on TV. (Even if they tell you that voting doesn't start till later, they lied.) Anyway, my favorite crews are SoReal Cru, Super Cr3w, and A.S.I.I.D. Yeah, I don't like Supreme Soul. Are you gonna kill me now? -_-

I'm pretty much afraid of chain messages now. Since the first one I ever sent came true, my midnight wish came true, and I checked my horoscope earlier and it was right. I think there's something about today that made things extremely insane. And yet, I don't know what it is.

I just remembered that I didn't even sleep last night until 6:30AM this morning. For some reason, I'm not even close to being tired. I think that's kindof weird, don't you?

Happy birthday, Paulo! (I highly doubt you're gonna see this, but hey, may as well write it!) You're oooooold. Haha!


What are you trying to do?

Life is goooood.

I got to watch Wall-E todaaaaay! :D Cuuuuute movie. No lies. Go watch it! Pixar made things dramatic this time. I heard that some people cried, but I didn't. Harhar.

POST IT NOTES ARE COOOOL.


These made my day:
"Hype is not a style, it's an attitude."
"You have a cute phone voice."
"What the heck u have a pet dragon?! Mia, u are some rad chick"
"Don't worry, I won't say anything."
"If you feel pretty, then you are pretty. And even if you don't, I still think you're pretty. =]"

Oh my God.

Tell me how you can say no to a face like that, and I'll call you a complete heartless person. No lie. I wanna watch this movie sososo badly. You have no idea. If someone takes me to watch this movie, I WILL love you with a passion. Gosh, I NEED to go watch Wall-e. :(

Oh, btw, that new law came out today. The one about minors not being allowed to use their cell phones at all in the car. Not even with a bluetooth or anything. Yeaaaah, don't get caught, sillies!

While I was in the car, my mom made me realize that I won't be able to go to Great America early this Saturday to see Kaba Modern because I have dance rehearsal for FSSJ. DAAAMNIT. I'm dedicated so I'll go to practice and head for Great America afterwards. I'll ask my mom to pick me up from rehearsal and drop me off at Great America. PROBLEM SOLVED. For now.

Beautiful.

I'm trying out this new thing where I just randomly rant about anything and everything in my blogs.

Don't put your life on hold for anyone or anything, but don't let life waste away with anyone or anything either. Life is about things that you do and happen to you everyday. It's not about the things that could have happened but never did, or things that you hope or think would happen in the future. Live life now. Live it to the fullest and stop beating yourself up, trying to be perfect. Allow life to surprise you with it's most wonderful blessings.

I have noticed that whenever things seem to improve, when things are at their best, why can't it stay that way? You see, that's why I'm always looking somewhere else. Never looking at the present, but toward the future.

I got too caught up and now, I'm paying the price.

WANTED

Wanted was a sick ass movie. I recommend you to watch it in the theaters. Talk about the adrenaline rush. Oooh, boy. Yes, it was totally worth $10.

Practice went well. I feel accomplished for the audition piece. The new piece is pretty fast so I need to practice that a bit more. I'll probably do that later today. Oh man, I love it though. No lie.

Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. That's all I have to say for today. I'm about to start getting ready now, and it's at 1:30. HAHAHA! Talk about anxiety.

Stoked!

Looovely! The interview is on Sunday at 1:30PM. I'm quite excited. :) Oooh dear, out of nowhere when they called though. I got a really cheesy smile on my face after they called. Hahaha! Whatta frickin' loser who needs a job.

Tomorrow would be first rehearsal. Kinda scared, kinda excited? I don't know. We'll see how it goes from there. Haha, I think I should bring my mom to drop me off cause I didn't get any of the forms? I don't know.

Today was pretty boring, but whatever, you know? I got to chill with Mix today and see some people. People were surprised with my gauge? Haha, it was funny. Only two people with gauges.. Beautiful.

I'm pretty pissed off/frustrated/stressed/excited right now.

Get it?

Get it, get it girrrrrl.

I believe that it's come to a point of no return. I apologize for what was said and done, but trust me, I really wouldn't do that to anyone, especially you. We'll definitely have one of those crazy sleepovers next week, yeaah?

Why is everyone in summer school this year? Gossssh, you guys have me at home doing nothing! Oh well, come crash my house again. It's funnay. :)



I wanna rock with you.

Hah.

No one reads my shit anyway. So why not just bust it out right now?

I don't understand how people can be so lucky, but take everything for granted. It's like, they have everything I could possibly want, and yet, they toss it aside, thinking, "Oh, I guess ____ is important." No, don't second guess. Never take anyone for granted because one day, you're not going to have everything anymore, and you'll be left with what-if's and those haunting should've - could've - would've type stories.

This year, I'm going to change. No more holding back, no more thinking too much. Just go for it. Waiting around isn't going to get me anywhere. It's time to stare these obstacles in the face and just get through.

Nerf battles!?

Yesterday was fun. Everyone hella crashed my house. This includes Joelle, Pablo, Andrew, Hamed, Mix, Eric, Kevin, Jay, and Marcel. HAHAH! Went to Andrew's and crashed his house. Nerf battles, yo.

I'd like to say that my goal is coming along nicely. I mean, training for it anyway. I still gotta work on my other goal tho. But no worries, I've got the whooole summer to figure out all of this shit.

I STILL NEED A JOB! :(

I'm excited for tomorrow! Angelica and Mia chill day. For sure. Working out and bonding! Fuckin' stoked, man. I get to bond with Angelica! That's whasssup.


Peaaaace.

Start it up.

Haven't been back here since Monday, but I just gotta say that I'm finally out of school! I can't believe I'm a junior now. Insaaaanity.

Crushcrushcrush! :)
Dedication.
Starting tomorrow, I promise.
On the lookout.

Summer is here,
AND IT FEELS SO GOOD.


Peaaaaaaace.

Drop a beat.

God, today was a good day. Thank you yet again.

Tomorrow and Wednesday are the last days of school! Junior status! :)
I'm hella excited for my choir final.
Tomorrow's gonna be fun.
I need to turn in my Jamba Juice application.
You bailed on me again.
I was hella stoked for Friday. Why was it cancelled? Whatever.
I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight.
You're avoiding me!
My friends are trying to make me avoid you!
I don't really care about it anymore.
I'm happy.

Chuuuurch.

Yes, I can take care of myself, Ma. -_-
Today was epic fail with the bill at Denny's. HAHA!
Missed Gabe Bondoc's performance :(
Stomach aches.
Staying up to finish history shit.
Goooodnight.


Peaaaaace.

"Where's my whopper!?"

HAHA! I love chilling with Jay, Kevin, Ella, Dominic, Jericho, and Isaak.
They never fail to make me laugh insanely.

Accomplishments:
Broke my mile record! 7:56, biiiitch.
Applied to Cold Stone (UC&NewPark) and PacSun!
Created a summer goal list again this year!
Officially over it!
Recruited running buddies! :)


Peaaaace.

Shake it up.

For every person I see who's found someone, I think that they must have done something great to deserve him or her. And then I look at myself in the mirror and wonder why I deserve someone. Why I should have the opportunity to fall in love or be "worth-it" in someone else's eyes.

And then I can't think of a reason.
And it sucks.

Whaaaassup?

It's June 1st. I get out of school in ten days. Fuck. Yeah.
Yesterday was filled with laughs all day long.
Bonded with Hamed, Kim, and Lorisa times 948753054.
I'm tired as fuck right now.
Starting today, I'm on a job search!
But the best part about my life right now?
.. I think I'm over you.

BAM!

Whatcha gonna do about that?

:|

You want it? I've got it.
All you gotta do is prove it.
It's not gonna be as easy this time.

Feels so good.

Lil' mama that thang is so good.

3/2. Goooodshit.
You're whatever now.

Day One.

I'm telling myself that I'm gonna do it this time.
No more joking around. No more benefit of the doubt.
I'm done with you and your lies.

Teach me

She jumped and fell again. This time, crashing much harder than the first.
Oh, when will she learn?

Someday, maybe.

Got my head up in the clouds, I needa come back to reality before I get myself lost up there.

Maybe I've got the timing all wrong, but boy, you just really need to let me know these kind of things. Tell me when I'm going over the top; there's no need to hide this from me. I gotta tone it down a notch and go back to how it was in the beginning. Time to become that chill girl in the corner of the room that no one notices, so that I could learn to not care about what you're doing to me. But don't worry, I'll be fine. I've got that positive mentality.

What. the. FUCK!?

Today is a really good day.

I love May 13, 2008. Highlights, you ask? Ohhhman... Jazz choir callbacks, new glasses, same prescription, Island D!?, and Juno DVD.



I LOVE MY LIFE.

Anticipation Nation.

That killed me today. Maybe it's just some wistful thinking, but I really hope that this will go somewhere this time. I know you can prove me wrong, hun.

Fuckin' insanity.

Snuck out last night around one thirty in the morning. Just chilled with you. Talking your crazy talk about Anchor Blue and Indiana Jones. Falling asleep. Getting home at four in the morning. Not getting caught.

"Check that off my list!"

Whaaaat!

I can't believe it. Whenever I feel like all hope is lost, you do something that makes me just forget everything and go back to you. But damn, let's do this.

AIMLoggers are just fuckin' cool.


&Off I gooo.



[8:51PM]
C'mon baby we ain't gonna live forever. Let me show you all the things that we could do. I know you wanna be together. & I wanna spend the night with you.

It's on tonight. All I needa do is.. *click click click click*

HAHAHA!

Oh my God. Eighth graders these days are so fucking hilarious. You guys won't be able to get with a nineteen-year-old guy who has a girlfriend already. I swear, you won't be able to fuck up their relationship. It's SOLID.

On the brighter note, it's the weekend once again! I gotta ask my momma if I could go to the mall tomorrow. Hopefully, she'll let me cause IT'S ON.

So, I guess I never did stop liking you, which isn't fair considering.. Yeah. I don't know. I need to learn how to move on with you.

I want my license! :(

Daaaamn.

Guess who's back!

Bitches.

fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you.

Goneee.

And I'm off lanruojevil-ing.
I'll be back, maybe.



Deleted old blogs tho.