clique.

I've never been the type of girl to stick around with just ONE group of people. Since I've moved so much in my life already, I've learned to let go and make new friends. Even now, I can't stand always being with certain people all the time. (With the exception of a few.)

I'm honestly glad I'm not like that.

honestly.

I seriously wanna know how much I can keep hurting myself. It’s too the point where I’m like a frickin dog. Someone throws me a bone, and I go after it like nothing’s happened. I hold on to all this pain every time, and I swear, you don’t even notice. I have too much faith in people. I always think something will change. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll see all the bullshit I put myself through just for you. For you to be happy. I keep my mouth shut. My mind constantly screams at me while my heart continues to sink deeper and deeper. Each action causing more pain than before. I’m tired of this. I’m tired of hurting.

I feel so disgusting. I’ve turned info this monster that I never wanted to be. I’m becoming bitter and pessimistic. What have I been turning into..

I wish I could tell you. I wish I didn’t care. I wish I could stop my mind from degrading myself. I wish I could stop putting the blame on me. I wish I could believe that I’m good enough.

stupid girl.

Not being the all around nice girl anymore. I'm tired of getting pushed around. Being me is what I want. No more trying to be people's friend. Love me or hate me, either way, it's gonna be me, forreal this time.

effffffff.

............................................................

come see me.

I'm alone in my dorm. My head is warm. Despicable Me comes out in 5 days!

hard to believe.

I know I've been basically writing about the same things over and over again, but


You know what? Forget it, haha. I shouldn't even be writing about it at all ^.^

sigh.

The pain in my heart grows smaller and smaller. I realize the problem was never you, it's been me all along.

happiness.

I have no idea what happens to me during the holidays. Between yesterday and today, I've made some changes. I made a great choice today, and I'm really glad I decided to. Sigh, no more bitterness in my life. I confronted them and solved it. Happiness.

joy.

Something that once caused me great distress is dissolving slowly into nothing. I'm so proud of myself right now.