I don't understand.

Why would you totally go off on someone like that? You don't know me. So why are you gonna judge me by my articles? Sure, I review places people always go to, but how about you at least know my life and my situations before you tell me that I'm boring and that I have no life. That's just not right. If you knew me, I'd really not care. People have their own opinions, and that's perfectly fine with me. The thing is, you don't know me, and that's what annoys me. Girl, grow up.

I don't know what to say except that I am going to become more independent now. I like the feeling of getting things done on my own. I don't have to rely on anyone but myself. No need to find anyone for me now. I'm happy now as I am. Who knows, maybe I'll find a boy willing to put effort in order to win my heart.

Yeah, I like that plan.

I really hate APUSH, but tonight made me realize how easy it actually CAN be if you do the work. Yes, I know, it's 4:32AM right now, but what can I do about it? Nothing. It was my own fault for procrastinating, not paying attention in class, and not doing the reading at home. I'm gonna really start focusing, I promise.

I fell asleep at around 10, and then I woke up at 2. I'm so tired and I have no energy. I'll probably get killed during fourth period tomorrow. No lie. Siiigh, I hope they understand..

Fast and short.

English is fine. 100% on benchmark, woot woot. First period is annoying me. Second period = hella stress, disappointment, and fear. Third is okay, I guess. I just needa raise my grade BADLY. I love journalism. Lunch is always the same; different every day. Sixth is still fantastically fun. Seventh.. What the hell is up with the new seating!? I don't like. Not at all. I like how Josh still sits behind me though. Btw, I owe him a rubber band.

Goodnight. I'm sleepy.

No need.

The purpose of this entry is for me to be able to finally be able to let everything out. I'm not holding back anymore. Only my really good friends know about this blog site, and I trust them with my life. Besides, they have all heard me rant about this way too many times. ;)

First off, I can't believe you hate me. I mean, really? You're gonna bring it back all the way to middle school when someone would start hating on another just because of some stupid reason. Come on now, we were best friends, and now, you're just going to throw it all away because we broke up? That's stupid. I'd love for you to be my friend again. I really do miss you, but obviously, I can't do anything about it right now. When you're mature enough to get through whatever's going on, call me.

Honestly, there's still a little part of me that still can't get over you. No matter what I try to do, and no matter what I tell myself, you have this hold on me. We don't even talk anymore, but you somehow manage to still have a little piece of my heart. (Corny and lamesauce, I know.) Everyone tells me the same thing, "You're too good for him," but every time, I just wish that things could have worked out differently than it did. I don't necessarily mean for us to be together, but at least good friends, you know? I don't know. You were so sweet and considerate. I'm having a hard time letting go, and in all honesty, I'm scared to move on.

When I have this chance to move on, I'm scared to take it. I don't know whether things are going to work out or crash and burn. I know, I shouldn't think about the future, but I can't help it. It's just how my thought process is. I just have a feeling that he likes another girl. I see it, but no one else does. I'm usually right about this gut feeling.. It's not like I know how to approach you anyway. I guess I'll just go with the flow and see where it goes from there. I only want good vibes, please. Oh, and I'll back out at the first sign of awkward feelings.

I've gotten accustomed to things not working out. There's always that doubt in the back of my mind. Whether it comes to school, boys, or my family, I never feel as though I'm making the right choice. Again, I need to focus on the present, not the part or future. I don't want to miss out on life.


.. I think this is good enough for now..

And in the end,

We all just want somebody to love us.

Crickets.

Friday was fun day. Like really.
I'm too lazy to explain everything though. It's really long. The rally was lamesauce. The cool thing was that happened was that juniors won both games. Yeeeeeaaaaaah! :) Seeing you with her wasn't cute. Oh well, be happy. New park mall after with Mix, Andrew, and Keli. Loves them. Gerry's grill. The waiter kept going to us.. I don't know why. He reminded me of Tony Tran. Teehee! :) Picked up Mix and went to Andrew's house for a little. Home home home.

Kim, Keli, and Mix were here a while ago. I love them. We watched Saw IV together, and we're gonna watch Saw V on Friday! :) I'm excited.




I wanna ask you why.

Insanity.

I'm so tired.

Fire drill 3rd period = best period to have the drill.
Lorisa writes really good stories.
Thanks for the food, Michelle!
Getting Stronger was our best song.
Too much work for FHS.
No time to work on projects in Tagalog.
That text message was unnecessary. I never did shit to you.
New Park Mall.
Hot dog on a stick.
Anywhere and everywhere.

You make me so frustrated with myself. I don't know what to do or say. I can't do anything because I know it'll go nowhere. Walk away while you still can.

Waking up early tomorrow to do homework.
Goodnight.

Bread.

HAHAHA! Only some of you will understand that.
Good rehearsal today = happy me.
I have an outline to do.
I didn't go to zero period.
I LIKE YOU TOO MUCH TO MY LIKING.
Don't talk to me?
You're cute.
I'm not gonna see you.
Why aren't you talking to me?

I have no school spirit.

Sooner or Later.

Why am I starting to like you so much.
Bad bad bad bad.
I don't get it!
Oh, and I'm excited for Gwyne's birthday.
Tomorrow will be interesting.
I have rehearsal tomorrow.

Reminders:
- Petco
- Clean up
- POWER CORD
- Go to school early tomorrow
- Start on TIES
- Notes and outline for APUSH


My assumption:
(Assuming is bad, I know.)
She likes you, and you like her, but I like you.
"It'll all come crashing down."

JF;LSDKJF!

But in a good way.

Spring Awakening/SF with Andrew, Gwyne, and Sherry. Pictures are in the link to the right under "multiply." Sooo much fun. Father-daughter talks are always nice. I love my dad. Oh, Gwyne's plan is fantastic :)

I just wish you'd feel the same way too.

Torn?

I can't explain to anyone, even myself. Ugh.
I wish it would turn out differently than the direction it's heading now.

.. It's frustrating.

The Way I See It #267

Music can lift us out of depression or move us to tears – it is a remedy, a tonic, orange juice for the ear. But for many of my neurological patients, music is even more – it can provide access, even when no medication can, to movement, to speech, to life. For them, music is not a luxury, but a necessity.

Not again.

Personally, when I look back at my past, I'm not exactly happy about it. I realize the mistakes I decided to take, and the resistance that was present. Even as I look into my past, I noticed one thing: I always thought about the future. I was cautious about my choices and how it would affect me in the long run. But that's the thing, a person cannot look at their past or their future. We need to live for only right now. If we were to always think back and forward, human kind would miss out on such great opportunities that we have right in front of us. We are blinded by over-thinking every move we make and always focusing on trying to avoid what happened in the past.

Notes.

Schedule for October:

09: Chamber rehearsal.
11: FSSJ rehearsal.
12: Spring Awakening!
14: Advanced rehearsal.
18: PSAT. Paddy Palooza? Homecoming? Mighty 4?
25: Six Flags?

Um.

Have you ever had one of those "I really feel like blogging, but I just don't know what to talk about" kind of moments? I'm having one right now.

I can't believe I forgot my APUSH binder at home today. Luckily, Cozine didn't say anything to me about it today, so I'm not in trouble. The funny thing is, I have a higher grade than Michelle in that class and she turned in more things that I did. Anyway, I need to stop lagging on APUSH. The end.

Choir's fun. I love the new song we're learning. Wonderful Peace, I think, but we're singing it in Swedish. It sounds really pretty and I'm excited. Oh, and I went to the tenor sectional today and it was fun. Dad looked really pissed in the beginning though.. Scary.

Thanks for bringing me home, Keli! :)



.. Waiting.(?)

KA-BANG.

Dead.
Really though, suuper tired for the past two days. Stress kills.

Lately, my life's been having some ups and downs. Thanks to all of those who are always there for me. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. All these deep talks out of nowhere get me thinking, but in a good way. I'm not thinking about the future as much anymore. I'm learning to only focus on the present. No thinking ahead or anything, just the "now."

It's amazing. I didn't think that I could ever talk to you about those kind of things, and now, you talk to me about your problems and your life goals. Plus, I found out from you that you consider me as one of your really good friends that help you remain sane. I just loved that feeling. You have no idea how good I felt after. You're welcome, and thank you for opening up to me as well.

Tonight's performance went pretty well. Sadly, the DJ that was in charge of our music left and took our music with him, so we were delayed. The crowd loved us! Haha, kept cheering and all. Feeels good :)

I'm tired. Goodnight.

I don't know, let's sing.

Something went wrong in every single one of my classes AND after school choir rehearsal. Lame. Sauce.

Jennifer Chung's music makes me happy. I don't know why, but if you're feeling down, maybe you should go listen, especially the song with the title of this blog. I can't help but sing along with her. And it's really catchy and cuteskii. :)



Shy, scared, nervous, anxious, happy, thrilled, excited.